this is marriage

My loving husband woke me up at 3am to bring to my attention that I had gotten a bloody nose all over the comforter. I won't be graphic but this has happened from time to time. It's a lovely mixture of sensitive, dry sinuses and low iron. It's awesome (not).
So I went to bed with dreams of brain aneurysms dancing in my head and felt horrible for potentially ruining the comforter.
After he gets out of bed I take the comforter down to the laundry and inspect the stain only to realize it is not blood but in fact hot sauce smeared all over the bed and my face by my lovely drunk husband who wanted to snuggle me at 2am only to pass out then wake up in horror when his wife and bed are covered in red.
This is marriage. I love this man.