Bigger is Better

I've noticed a direct correlation between how big I get and how many compliments I get. It's like temporarily being in one of those cultures that worships fat people and I won't lie, it's kind of amazing.

I think it's also because some people know how much you really need it, even if you're not sure you do. Yesterday was a tough day. It was crappy outside and the high barometric pressure was making me achy everywhere. In an effort to make myself feel better, I made an appointment for a much overdue bikini wax and was oddly excited about it. I know it hurts and will hurt more because I'm pregnant, but I just needed to feel like I was taking care of myself aesthetically. Well I got to my appointment a few minutes early to check in and was told that they would not be able to wax me because I'm pregnant. I'll pause for you to be as shocked as I was.

She kept uncomfortably rambling on about insurance policies and fines and something about not being able to really do anything to me and then offered to trim me up if I wanted to which I just said no thank you. I then left the salon to go lose it in my car. I don't know why I was so upset but I think after a few long days at work it was just the straw that broke the pregnant camels back.

Luckily after a few hours of a pity party I decided to call the salon I had gone to prior and they were totally ok with taking my hair and my money even though I'm with child. Thank the Lord for overpriced salons.

Third Trimester. Here We Go!

Yesterday was the first day of my third trimester. In some ways I can't believe in almost done and in other ways I can't remember life not pregnant. 

I've grown accustomed to my growing body and daily love taps from my baby boy. While I long to be skinny again and to not have some of the now regular aches and pains that are now a part of my daily life, pregnancy hasn't been all that bad. For the most part I'm less self conscious about my body and feel less guilty after a big meal. 

Don't get me wrong, I am so so excited to meet my baby boy. I don't know if I've ever been so anxiously anticipating anything in my life. I'm so excited to be a mom and to meet the quirky little man growing inside me right now. But it's admittedly also a bit scary. Will I do a good job? Will he be healthy? Smart? Happy? Will he love us? Will Milo love him? Will I lose the weight? How will I manage a new work/life balance? Will we like our chosen daycare? 

There are just so many questions that will soon have answers. 

As I lay here on this rainy Memorial Day weekend icing my hips and kissing my pup I realize it will all be ok. We jumped into dog parenthood quickly and well. He is for all intents and purposes our first child and he is more or less a good dog. He loves us because we love him. He is sweet and he is happy. Because we are sweet to him and we are happy. 

Tests and To Dos

I went today for my gestational diabetes blood glucose test. Even though a few people had mentioned that the test really sucks and that you feel kind of awful during the process, I wasn't really that nervous.

There's an option now to take the gross orange drink or to make a breakfast. I initially was going to do the breakfast but a lack of OJ at my house forced me to go the drink route this morning. Luckily, I passed, but they did find I have low iron. That explains my pregnant lady lethargy these days! Looks like mama needs more steak and leafy greens in her life.

Today when Kristen was measuring my belly and listening to his heartbeat he bumped the ultrasound machine. I'm pretty sure he punched it. Either he already needs anger management or is super protective of his mommy. I'll go with mommy loving protector.

The past few weeks we've been relishing in our lull before summer really kicks in. And by relishing the lull I mean doing as many house projects as possible before baby gets here.  Most recently we've stained no less than 3 pieces of furniture and done our first load of baby laundry. Last night I organized a closet and found a sleeve of 100 CDs from high school, 4 photo albums, 3 prom dresses, 2 bridesmaid dresses, 2 beer brewing kits, 4 boxes of unnecesssary beer and 12 total boxes of books we haven't read in over a year. It looks like we don't have much of a storage issue at all. Just a minor book, booze and formal gown hoarding issue.

Luckily, the brew kits and a spare queen bed will be going to a good home soon. The dresses are going to my sister's house and the beer and books will be going to charity or will be sold to the first bidder. That will definitely clear up a LOT of room for baby things and general life things. Let's hope we can make this place work for another year before we're busting out of the closets at the seams!

This weekend we're heading down to Dover VT with some friends to enjoy a much needed weekend away from house projects and our ever growing to-do list a few hours away. Happy start to summer everyone!

Lucky

'This is a song a out a girl named Lucky...'

Ok, Britney Spears songs aside, I woke up this morning feeling insanely lucky. While we had a very long and tiring weekend, we headed to NY to visit our friends and my in-laws for a baby shower. And we were showered with love. Truly. We received so many nice, sweet and thoughtful gifts and more importantly, giant hugs and well wishes from people we see entirely too infrequently.

It sounds kind of bad, but we also come back home to a renewed love for our new home every time we go back to our old home. We love it here and are so lucky to have had the chance and opportunity to leave the city for a different life. A life that better suits us. A life that let's us better versions of ourselves.

On top of that, to come home to a supportive and loving local family that took care of our pup while we were gone AND amazing friends who made us a delicious meal so we wouldn't have to cook when we got home... The feeling of love and happiness is indescribable.

We also came home with about 40lbs of hand me downs from E's sister, and the dresser that was in his childhood bedroom for BabyG's nursery. Something just feels so right about that. So so right.

As I lay here in bed feeling my baby boy bounce around, hearing my dog sleepily breathing in his bed and seeing my husband curled up beside me, I am just so full of love I could burst. These people are the true meaning of Mother's Day. I may not have gotten special treatment or a gift, but the world has given me more gifts than I deserve. And for that, I am truly grateful and will count my lucky stars every day for all of the gifts I've been given.

Busy Bees and Social Butterflies

It's been a busy week over here in baby making land! Beautiful weather means I've been out getting a lot of walks and exercise and glorious sun. I feel like a flower drinking up the sunlight! It's been amazing. He's moving a ton these days too! I wonder if it has to do with the sun and activity. Sometimes it's hard to concentrate at work, in yoga or sleeping with a little trout flopping around in my belly. But it always puts the biggest smile on my face. I'll surely miss these private moments between me and my boy when he's out. But I can't wait to meet him and smother him with kisses.

Due to an unanticipated ultrasound we got to see BabyG again this week. He's a beautiful exhibitionist who loves showing us that he is a boy. He's also in the 75th percentile of size so far. I'm not surprised I've got a little chubster growing in there. He's definitely been making my belly bigger and bigger by the day. I doubt the soft serve is hurting his cause either...

This week I also got the first set of books intended for us to read to BabyG in utero. I won't lie. I definitely teared up reading to him for the first time.

I've had a ton more energy this past week as well. We actually made it out on the town two nights in a row! It was really nice to get out, see some friends and be social for the first time in a while. Last night the Mr. and I went to bluegrass night at a local cidery owned by some of our friends. They had an amazing food truck, great bluegrass band and of course, delicious cider. Sadly I was only able to take teensy sips of the husby's beverages, but what I had was SO GOOD! I look forward to strapping BabyG onto the husb or me and heading out to Citizen Cider for a nice low key bev in the future.

Twenty

Well it's official. I'm up 20lbs in my pregnancy. At 24 weeks I think I'm ok with it. Well honestly, I kind of have to be. They say you should be at 20 lbs going into your third  trimester and I'm a few weeks away so I might be gaining a little ahead of schedule but like I said, I kind of have to be ok with it.

I'm finding that the bigger I get the more positive comments I get so I guess I can't get that upset about it.

Giving credit where credit is due

I'm 24 weeks today. Only 16 more to go. I'm up 18lbs and have an active little bundle of baby boy joy in my belly. I count my blessings every day for the life I live, the love I have and our healthy little boy. But some days I have a hard time embracing the process.

It's hard to remember that I'm beautiful. My body is full of life and I am healthy. There really is nothing more beautiful than that. But it's easy to look at form fitting clothing shapes that no longer fit or skinny friends and strangers and lose sight of that. Sadly, today, I don't feel pretty.

I did some window shopping in the boutiques downtown and felt like Pretty Woman. No one addressed me because I'm not a sale. They don't carry maternity and none of it will fit me. They know that and they know I can't fit in their clothes. It's sad that one of my favorite former past times has turned against me. Et tu shopping?

I'm very lucky to be pregnant at a time where pregnancy style has vastly improved and is in a much better place than it has ever been. Sadly, I live in a town with very few maternity shops and the maternity sections at a lot of stores are very limited. However, I was a talented online shopper before we moved. One of my few NYC skills that was directly transferable.

I know I'm doing my best to stay fit and I know I'm doing what's best for y baby and my body, but accepting my changing body has been harder than I anticipated. My body has been so good to me. I wasn't sick, I have very few negative symptoms and I've been able to create and sustain life with little effect on my own life and schedule. That is nothing short of amazing. So as much as I'm a bit down today I have to stop and say thank you body. Thank you for being strong enough to make a life and let me maintain mine. Thank you for being healthy and I'm sorry I don't always think nice things about you. I'm trying to be nicer to us. In the meantime, please continue to be nice to me. We'll meet in the middle at some point.