I'm 24 weeks today. Only 16 more to go. I'm up 18lbs and have an active little bundle of baby boy joy in my belly. I count my blessings every day for the life I live, the love I have and our healthy little boy. But some days I have a hard time embracing the process.
It's hard to remember that I'm beautiful. My body is full of life and I am healthy. There really is nothing more beautiful than that. But it's easy to look at form fitting clothing shapes that no longer fit or skinny friends and strangers and lose sight of that. Sadly, today, I don't feel pretty.
I did some window shopping in the boutiques downtown and felt like Pretty Woman. No one addressed me because I'm not a sale. They don't carry maternity and none of it will fit me. They know that and they know I can't fit in their clothes. It's sad that one of my favorite former past times has turned against me. Et tu shopping?
I'm very lucky to be pregnant at a time where pregnancy style has vastly improved and is in a much better place than it has ever been. Sadly, I live in a town with very few maternity shops and the maternity sections at a lot of stores are very limited. However, I was a talented online shopper before we moved. One of my few NYC skills that was directly transferable.
I know I'm doing my best to stay fit and I know I'm doing what's best for y baby and my body, but accepting my changing body has been harder than I anticipated. My body has been so good to me. I wasn't sick, I have very few negative symptoms and I've been able to create and sustain life with little effect on my own life and schedule. That is nothing short of amazing. So as much as I'm a bit down today I have to stop and say thank you body. Thank you for being strong enough to make a life and let me maintain mine. Thank you for being healthy and I'm sorry I don't always think nice things about you. I'm trying to be nicer to us. In the meantime, please continue to be nice to me. We'll meet in the middle at some point.
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