'Life is pain highness'

Although the Princess Bride is one of my all time favorite books and movies, it also happens to be meaningful and poignant at times.

When I'm at a time in my life where I'm preparing for what will essentially be the biggest and hardest moment I've ever encountered I can't help but consider what is pain and what does it mean in our lives.

As a person who has never broken a bone before, I probably have no idea what true physical pain is. But somehow I consider myself to be a person with a high pain tolerance. I do have a tattoo (albeit a small one) and several piercings. I was in a train accident where I did get hurt, but like I said, nothing broken. Do you think a broken bone is really the most painful pain? I'm not sure I do.

During a conversation yesterday a friend said to me she had 'nothing to prove' by attempting a natural birth and that she was giving herself the option of the epidural. That really have me a lot to think about. As someone who aims to have a natural birth, do I feel like I have something to prove? I kind of think I do. I have no idea why.
Maybe it is because I've encountered so little physical pain in my life that I feel like I shouldn't shy away from a highly anticipated painful experience. Maybe it's because my older sister had two unmedicated labors and she's not tormented, traumatized or pro-drugs. I really admire the ability of my friend to keep her options open. For some reason I've always known I wanted a drug-free labor. Even before I was sure if I was going to have babies or not. I may regret being so close minded after the fact but only time will tell.

Or maybe it's because propaganda films like Business of Being Born have beat into me that I'm some sort of bad mother if I choose to medicate during labor. While I found the film to be informational and insightful (in spite of Ricki Lake's terrifying nipples) I also found it to be extremely one-sided.

For the record I think every woman has the right to choose her labor experience and I'm grateful to live in the time of modern medicine where that is possible. Pushing a human from your body is an undeniably personal experience and anyone who tries to have a say in what you do to prepare for or get through said experience without a request for advice can suck an egg. If I wanted to birth my baby in a hole in the ground because my spirit animal is a sea turtle and I felt it was my duty to birth as they do I would have the right to do so.

I guess all I can do is prepare as much as I can and see what happens in a few months and how I feel. I mean, my birth plan and that of my baby may vary greatly. Maybe my fetus is hatching a dramatic escape plan right this very minute just to spite me. That would be very apropos of my spawn to do such a thing.